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读幽默故事36篇学中考词汇

读幽默故事36篇学中考词汇
读幽默故事36篇学中考词汇

英语故事

Story 1 I Don?t Like Her

Bob goes to a new school.

One day he comes back, “Bob, do you like your new teacher?” his mother asks.

“I don?t like her, Mother. Because first she says that three and three is six, and then she says that two and four is six, too.”

Story 2 Ten Candies

Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”

“Ten.” Jim says.

“Ten?” Mother asks.

“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?”

Story 3 Count Tomorrow Morning

It?s a night. John is looking at the sky.

Tom is John?s younger brother. He asks John “What are you doing?”

John says, “I?m counting stars.”

Tom laughs and says, “It?s really dark now. Why not count them tomorrow morning?”

Story 4 Are Flies Yummy(好吃)?

Tony and his father are eating dinner.

Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?”

Dad frowns (皱眉and says, “No, I think it?s yucky(不好吃). Why do you ask me this question? It?s a silly question.”

But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.”

Story 5 I Don?t Want to Walk Home

Tom is a very old man. After dinner, he likes walking in the street. And he goes to bed at seven o?clock.

But tonight, a car stopped at his house. A policeman helps him get out. He tells Tom?s wife, “The old man couldn?t find his way in the street. He asked me to take him in the car.”

After the policeman leaves there, his wife asks, “Tom, you go to the street every night. But tonight you can?t find the way, what?s the matter?”

The old man smiles like a child and says, “I couldn?t find my way? I didn?t want to walk home.”

Story 5 It Must Be Crowded

A teacher is telling his students, “The moon is very large. Several millio ns people can live there.”

And a boy laughs and says, “It must get crowded when it?s a crescent moon(月牙)”

Story 6 It?s Good to Admit a Fault

John is not a “good” student. He always sleeps in the class. Today he sleeps again.

“John!” Teacher says angrily.

“What? What?s wrong?” John is awaken.

“Why do you make a face? It?s classroom. Look! Everyone is laughing.” Teacher says.

“No one is laughing.” The other students say.

“No, it?s not me. I was not making a face. I was sleeping.” John fells upset.

“Um. Not bad. You can admit your fault. You are still a good boy.” Teacher is satisfied with it.

Story7 Covering One?s Ears While Stealing a Bell

Mr. Wang thinks he is clever, but he always does foolish things.

One day he sees a beautiful bell at the top of a door. “Oh! How nice! I will take it home.” He thinks, “What can I do?” After a while he has a“good” idea. “Aha! I have an idea now. I can plug my ears. Then I will not hear the ring when I take off the bell.”

Then he does so. But as soon as he takes off the bell, the owner opens the door. “What ate you doing?” the owner says angrily.

Story8 Adding Eyes to a Dragon

Mr. Li is a good painter. One day he draws a beautiful dragon without eyes.

Mr. Zhou looks at the picture and says, “The dragon has no eyes. It isn?t a good picture.”

But Mr. Li smiles and says, “If I add eyes to the dragon, it will fly away.”

Mr. Zhou shakes head and says, “You are boasting. I don?t believe you.”

Mr. Li isn?t angry. He holds the paintbrush and adds eyes to the dragon. Woe! The dragon really flies.

Story9 Lord Ye?s Love of the Dragon

There is a young man, Lord Ye. He likes dragons vey much. He draws many dragons in his house. The house becomes a world of dragon.

A red dragon hears of Lord Ye, and is deeply moved. He wants to visit Lord Ye and makes a friend with him.

“Hi, Mr. Ye! Nice to meet you,” t he real dragon comes to visit Mr. Ye. He runs away as fast he can. “Oh, my God! Help! Help!” he runs and shouts.”

Story 10 I Made Granny Glad

A teacher is telling her students the importance of making others glad. “Now, children,” she says“Did you make someone else glad?”

“Please, teacher,” says a small boy, “I made someone glad yesterday.”

“Well done. Who was that?” The teacher says.

“My granny.” The boy says.

“Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad.” The teacher says.

“I went to s ee her yesterday, and stayed with her for three hours. Then I said to her, …Granny, I?m going home.? And she said, “well. I?m glad!”

Story 11 Look at the Sky from the Bottom of a Well

There is a frog. He lives in a well and he never goes out of the well. He thinks the sky is as big as the mouth of the well.

One day a crow(乌鸦)comes to the well. He sees the frog and says, “Frog, let?s have a talk.” Then the frog asks, “Where are you from?” “I fly from the sky,” the crow says. The frog feels surprised and says, “The sky is only as big as the mouth of the well. How do you fly from the sky?”

The crow says, “The sky is very big. You always stay in the well, so you don?t know the world is big.”

The frog says, “I don?t believe.” But the crow says, “You can come out and have a look by yourself.”

So the frog comes out from the well. He is very surprised. How big the world is! Story 12I can?t Cook It

It?s sunny day in spring. Miss Cat is fishing. Suddenly the fishing rod moves. “Great! Oh, it?s so heavy!” Miss Cat says happily.

The fish is plucked out of the river. “Oh, a big fish! How big the fish is!” She cheers. But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.

At the time Mr. Hor se goes by and sees it. “What do you set it free?” He asks. “Because my pot is too small. I can?t cook it,” Miss Cat says.

Story 13 That Is Not My Dog!

A woman walks into a pet shop and sees a cute little dog. She asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”

The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bit.”

The woman tries to pet the dog and the dog bites her.

“Ouch!” She says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”

The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!”

Story 14 Snow White

Snow White is born on a cold winter day. She is as white as snow. Her eyes are very big, her hair very long and her voice is sweet. She is very kind and beautiful. Everyone loves her. Her mummy, the Queen loves her, too. But she died.

A new Queen comes. She is beautiful, but bad. She doesn?t like Snow White, because Snow White is the most beautiful girl in the world.

“I will kill Snow White.” So sh e orders a hunter to kill Snow White. The hunter is an honest man. “You are a good girl; I don?t want to kill you.” So he lets Snow White go. Snow White goes into a forest. She finds a house, and goes into the house. Seven dwarfs live there. They like Snow White, and ask Snow White to live with them.

No sooner, the new Queen dies. Because she isn?t the most beautiful woman in the

world.

Story 15 The Clever King Solomon

Long, long ago, there was a king. Solomon was his name. He was very clever.

In his country, there were two women. They lived in the same house and each had a child.

One night, one of the babies died. The dead baby?s mother took the other woman?s baby, and put it in her own bed.

The next morning , they had a quarrel.

“No, this is my baby!” The dead is yours!”

Each one wanted the living baby. So they went to see King Solomon.

“Bring me a knife, cut the child into two and five each woman one half.” said the King.“Oh. Your Majesty! Give her my baby. Please don?t kill my baby!”

T hen King Solomon pointed to the woman in teas and said, “Give the baby to her. She is the mother.”

Story 16 Catching a Thief

Witty Hare can run very fast. One day when he gets home. He sees a rat. The rat is jumping down his window. “Oh. A thief!” Witty Hare shouted and catches the rat, “You can?t run faster then me.” Soon Witty Hare catches up with the rat, and the rat is left behind, “I must run away,? the rat says and laughs, “He is so silly.”

Witty Hare goes on running. A sheep sees him and asks him, “What are you doing?” “I?m catching the thief.” Witty Hare says. “ Thief? Where?s the thief?” the sheep fells surprised. “He?s behind me ,”Witty Hare says proudly.

Story17 Wolf Is Coming

There is a naughty boy in a village. He likes telling lies. One day he wants to make fun of the farmers. So he shouts, “Wolf! Wolf! Wolf is coming!” The kind farmers are working in the field. They hear the shout, and hurry to help the boy. But when get there, the boy says: “There isn?t a wolf. I?m joking. The far ers are angry and go back to their field. After a while the big shouts again, “Wolf! Wolf! Wolf is coming!” And the farmers come and are cheated again. The boy laughs and laughs. They say, “You tell lies. We will not believe you.”

Later a wolf really com es. The boy is very scared. “Wolf! Wolf! Wolf is coming!” the boy shouts and shouts. “Help! Help!” But no one comes. And wolf eats the naughty boy.

Story 21 Change Name

Tom is 16. he decides to leave home and joins a music company. His father hears th at and angry, “Singer? My son? It?s disgrace!” he shouts, “What do they think of the neighbors know?”

“I will change my name,” Tom says. He thinks he will become a singer in the future.“Change your name?” Tom?s father shouts angrily, “What if you?re succ essful? How will the neighbors know you are my son.?”

Story 20 hree Little Pigs and a Big Wolf

Once, a mother pig sent her three little children into the world. They needed to look after themselves.

The first pig found some straw, and he built a fine house with straw, and he built a fine house with straw.

The second pig built a house with wood.

The third pig built a house with stone.

One day, a wolf came to straw house, he was hungry.

“Little pig let me in! I?m your brother.”

“No, no! You are a wolf.”

Then the wolf blew down the straw house. The first pig ran to the wooden house.

Then the wolf came to the wooden house, too. The two pigs ran to the stone house.

The wolf came and blew the stone house. He blew and blew, but the house didn?t fall down. Then wolf was angry, he climbed to the roof and jumped down the chimney.

The wolf fell into the pot! Ouch! He ran away.

The three little pigs lived happily.

Story 21The Wolf and the Crane(鹤)

There is a bad wolf in the forest. One day he is eating a lamb. Suddenly a bone sticks in his throat.

“Oh, a bone is my throat.” He goes to see a doctor, “Please help me.” The doctor, Mr. Panda says, “Sorry, I can?t help you. The bone is inside.”

“What can I do?” the wolf is sad. Then he meets a crane. “Oh, dear crane. Please help me. A bone is in my throat. I will pay for your help.”

“Ok. Let me have a try,” the crane says. She pulls out the bone with her bill(长嘴). “Now I will go. Remember your words. You should pay me,” she says.

“Well. Pay you. I remember,” the wolf says. With the words, the wolf bites off the crane?s neck and eats her up.

Story 22 A Friend in Need Is a Friend Indeed

Jack and Ben are good friends. One day, they explore a forest together. When they go deep into the forest, suddenly they hear a sound.

“What?s that? The sound is so terrible.” Ben says.

“Oh! Bear! Look! A bear!” Jack says and climbs quickly on a tall tree.

Ben tries to cl imb on the tree. But he can?t. “What can I do? Help me please! “Ben says to Jack. But Jack does nothing.

The bear is coming. Ben lies down quickly and pretends to die. The bear looks at Ben and walking around him. Ben holds his breath. The bear smells Ben and thinks he?s dying, and then the bear goes away.

When Jack sees the bear going far, he slides down from the tree and wakes Ben. “What did the Bear whisper to you?” Jack asks Ben.

“Why didn?t you help me? Have you not heard the sentence: A friend i n need is a friend indeed?” Ben shouted.

Story23 The Thirsty Dog

A dog is very thirsty. But he only sees some empty pails. There is no water in them. The dog goes on looking for water. He comes to a small house. There is a girl in it. The girl goes out with a pail. “She goes to a well,” the dog thinks and follows her. The dog is right. The girl comes to a well and puts down the pail, and the pail is full of water, there the girl goes back to her house.

“ Water! Great!” the dog says and runs to the well. He jumps into the well without thought.”

The water is good. The dog is happy and drinks much. But he can?t jump out of the well. He waits and waits. But no one comes. “I?m hungry now. I must go out,” he thinks.

At the time a thirsty goat comes to the well. He looks at the water and the dog. “Is the water good?” the goat asks. “ Of course. Come down,” the dog says. Then the goat jumps into the well, too. Then dog is happy. He jumps on the goat?s back and jumps out of the well.

The dog has a look at the goat and says, “Goodbye!” Then he leaves.

Story24 A Smart Tortoise

A tiger is hungry, he is looking for food. He sees a frog in front of him.

“Ha ha! A frog! My dinner!” so he rushes at the frog.

Behind the tiger, there is a tortoise. The little tor toise sees it; he bites the tiger?s tail.“Ouch!” cries the tiger and he looks back. The frog hears the voice and jumps into water.

“Thank you, little tortoise.” says the frog.

But the tiger is very angry. “Bother it! I?ll throw you to the sky!”

“Thank you, I like flying in the sky,” says the tortoise.

The tiger stops, “I will throw you into the river.”

“Oh,no! I can?t swim; I will die if you throw me into the water.” The tiger threw the tortoise into the water quickly.

“Thank you, Mr. Tiger. Bye-bye.” T he tortoise and the frog swim away together. Story 25 The Rabbit and the Fox

Once there was a naughty rabbit. He likes to play tricks, and it made other animals angry. But it was very different to catch him.

One day, a wolf said to a fox, “I have an id ea to catch the rabbit. You go back home and get into bed. I?ll go to the rabbit and tell him that you are dead. If he comes to see you, you?ll jump up and catch him.”

“Good idea,” said the fox, “I?ll do that.” Then fox ran home and got into bed. The wolf went to the rabbit?s house and said, “Mr. Rabbit, have you heard Mr. Fox is dead?” The wolf stood at the door, and then he went away.

“Really? I haven?t heard anything about it.” The rabbit said to himself, so he decided

to go and see if it was true. He we nt to the fox?s house and looked in through the window. He saw the fox lying in bed. He opened the door and went in. he looked at the fox and said, “Mr. Wolf says Mr.Fox is dead, but he doesn?t look like a dead fox.

A dead fox always open his mouth.”

When the fox heard this, he thought, “I?ll show him that I am dead.” So he opened his mouth.

The rabbit saw the fox open his mouth, and he knew the fox was not dead. He ran out of the house as fast as he could.

Story26 Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood is a lovely girl. She likes red hats. So her mother calls her little Red Riding Hood.

Her grandma loves her very much. But now she is ill. Her mother is busy. So she asks little Riding Hood to see her grandma.

In the forest, a wolf sees little Red Riding Hood, “Look, little Riding Hood. I have children for lunch, the path goes to her grandma?s house.”

The wolf comes to grandma?s house and eats grandma. Then he wears grandma?s glasses and clothes, and in her bed.

After a while, little Red Ridin g Hood comes to grandma?s bed. To her surprise, grandma?s mouth is very big. So she asks: “Grandma, why is your mouth so big?” “I eat little girls with this mouth.” And he rushed at little Red Riding Hood.

“Help! Help!” The wolf runs after little Red Ridin g Hood. At this time, a hunter passes through the house. He shoots the wolf and saves little Red Riding Hood. Then he cuts the wolf and grandma comes out.

Story 27 Poor George

George is a little monkey. He lives in a deep forest. He likes jumping and climbing trees. He is happy every day. But he has a shortcoming. He is curious.

One day an old man goes by the forest. He carries a lot of straw hats. George sees the man, and the man sees George, too. The man says to himself, “What a lovely monkey! I will catch him. I will take him home.”

The man sits down and thinks over. George sees and also sits down. The man has an idea. He puts a hat on his head, and puts other hats on the ground. Then he pretends to sleep.

George is curious and looks at the hats. “I will be nice if I put a hat on my head.” George thinks. Then he climbs down from the tree, picks up a hat and puts it on. The hat is too big, and covers George?s eyes. George can?t see. And the man gets up at once, rushes out and catches him quickly.

Poor George!

Story28The Ant and the Dove

An ant is walking by the river. He looks at the river and says to himself, “How nice and cool this water looks! I must drink some of it.” But when he is drinking, he slips into the river.

“Oh. Help !Help!” The an t cries,

A dove is sitting in the tree. She hears him and throws him a leaf, “Climb up that leaf,” she says “and you will float bank.”

The ant climbs onto the leaf, and the wind blows the leaf to the bank. And the ant is saved.

“Thank you, Dove. You?re so kind,” The ant says and runs home, “You have saved my life, and I wish I could do something for you, Goodbye!”

“Goodbye!” says the dove, “Be careful. Not to fall into the river again.”

After a few days, the dove is building her nest. And a man is raising his gun to shoot her.

The ant sees this, and runs quickly to bite the man?s leg. “Ouch! Ouch!” The man feels pained and drops his gun. The dove hears and flies away. So the man picks up his gun and leave.

The dove comes to her nest. “Thank you, my little friend,” she says, “You have saved my life.”

The little ant is so glad, because he can help the dove.

Story 29 The Fisherman and His Wife

Once, there was a fisherman. He had an ugly wife. They were poor.

One day, the fisherman caught a goldfish. B ut the goldfish could talk, “Please let me go! I?ll reward you.”

“Ok, my God?” cried the fisherman, “Don?t worry. I have no wish to eat a talking fish.” So he puts it into the water.

The fisherman went home and told his wife about it. She became very angry. “How foolish you are!” she said, “Look at the hut. Go back to the sea and tell the fish to give me a cottage.”

So the fisherman went down to the beach.

“What?s the matter?” asked the fish.

“My wife wants to cottage.” said the fisherman.

“Don?t worry, she will have it.”

So the fisherman?s wife had her cottage.

But after a few days, she became tired of it. “Tell the fish to give me a palace.” she said. Then the fisherman went back to the beach again. And the fisherman?s wife had her palace.

But she soon got tried of it, too. “Ask the fish to be my servant, and I want to be a queen.”

This time, the fish got angry. It said nothing and swam away.

The fisherman waited and waited, but the goldfish didn?t come back. When he went home, he found his wife back in their old hut.

Story 30 It?s Unfair

Linda was a good girl, but she was often late for school.

One day, she was late again. When she came in, Mr. Clark, her teacher said angrily, “I?ll tell you father if you are late again.” Linda didn?t want him to d o that. Because her father was very strict with her.

The next morning, Linda got up early. She hurried to school. At the school gate, she heard the first bell, “What shall I do?” she asked herself, “I?ll turn it in first.” She decided. And so she did.

When she hurried into her classroom, Mr. Clack was already beginning his class. “Linda! Didn?t I tell you to be here on time?” Mr. Clack said as he as her.

“I?m sorry, sir,” Linda tried to explain, “I?m late because I had to…?”

“I don?t listen to any excuse,” Mr. Clack stopped her. “If you can?t get here on time, I have to tell your father.”

“But Mr. Clack. It?s …it?s unfair!”

“Unfair! How dare you say that?” Mr. Clack said angrily, “I?ll report you to the headmaster.

“I was only trying to do a good idea,”Linda thought,“and now…” She couldn?t keep back her tears.

When the bell rang for the break, the door opened and Mr. White, the headmaster came in. he was holding a wallet in his hand, “Excuse me, Mr. Clack. Is this your wallet?”

“Oh,yes. It?s my wallet. Who found it? I must thank him.”

“Linda found it and turned it in before school started.” Mr. White said.

Mr. Clack face slowly turned red. He looked at Linda and said, “I?m very sorry. Linda. I take back what I said.”

“And I?m sorry. Mr. Clack. I?ll try not to be late again.” Linda said.

Story 31he Old Man and the Old Cat

An old man has a cat. The cat is very old, too. He runs very quickly. And his teeth are bad. One evening, the old cat sees a little mouse. He catches it, but he can?t eat it because his teeth are not strong enough. The mouse runs away.

The old man is very angry. He beats his cat. He says: “You are a fool cat. I will punish you!” the cat is very sad. He thinks:“When I was young, I worked hard for you. Now you don?t like me because I?m too old to work. You should know you are old, too.”

Story32naughty Monkey

It?s very hot.. An old man is asleep on the chair. A fly comes and sits on the end of the man?s nose.

The old man has a naughty monkey. He chases the fly.

The fly comes back a gain and sits on the old man?s nose again. The monkey chases it away again and again.

This happens five or six times. The monkey is very angry. He jumps up, runs to the garden and picks up a large stone.

When the fly sits on the old man?s nose again, t he monkey hits it hard with the stone.

He kills the fly and breaks the old man?s nose.

Story 33The Panda in China

A panda looks like a little bear. It has black and white fur. It lives only in China, so it is called the national treasure of China and protected by the law.

We all see panda on TV or in the zoo. They look stupid and walk slowly, but they are lovely and everyone likes them.

A panda is lucky animal. We Chinese like it, and people of the world like it, too. Now there are China?s pandas in many other countries, such as Japan and the USA…

A panda isn?t a common animal, it is bridge of friendship.

Story34 Who Pours Ink on My Chair?

Donny is a seven year old boy. He goes to school every day. The school is near his home. So he goes there on foot and comes back home on time. But today, he is late. His mother asks him, “Why do you go to the headmaster?s office?”

“Because the teacher asks us a question in class and nobody can answer it, but I can.” “It?s good to answer the teacher?s question.” “But the question is …Who pours ink on my chair??”

Story 24 The King and His Stories

Once there was a king. He likes to write stories, but his stories were not good. As people were afraid of him, they all said his stories were good.

One day the king showed his stories to a famous writer. He waited the writer to praise these stories. But the writer said his stories were so bad that he should throw them into fire. The king got very angry with him and sent him to prison.

After some time, the king set him free. Again he showed him some of his new stories and asked what he thought of them.

After reading them, the writer at once turned to the soldiers and said: “ Take me back to prison, please.”

Story35 Two Holes for the Dogs

My uncle has two dogs. One is big and the other is small. He likes them very much.

One day, Mr. Smith came to visit him. When the friend saw two holes in the door, a large hole and a small hole, he was surprised and said, “My dear friend, why are there two holes in your door?” “Let my dogs come in and come out, of course,” Mr. Smith asked. “But why are there two holes? One is enough!” “But how can the big dog go through the small hole?” my uncle said.

Sometimes a clever man may make such mistakes.

Story 36 Sun the Ice

Once a simpleton?s wife told him to buy some ice.

Two hours later, he didn?t come back. She wanted to know why he didn?t come back and went out to have a look. She saw he was standing in the sun at the gate and watching the ice melting.

“What?s the matter?” She asked him. “Why don?t you bring it in?”

“I saw the ice was wet and I was afraid that you would scold me so I?m running it dry.” The simpleton answered.

中考英语词汇运用 专项练习(含答案)

名词专项 1.识别可数名词,不可数名词 2.可数名词单数变复数及其修饰语 3.名词所有格 4.变名词 1) +er / or / ist / ian (play --- player; visit --- visitor; science --- scientist; music --- musician) 2) +ion / sion (collect --- collection; decide --- decision) 3) +ment (develop --- development) 4) +ing (mean --- meaning; paint --- painting) 5) +ure (press --- pressure) 6) +ness (kind --- kindness; happy --- happiness) 7) +y / ty (difficult --- difficulty; honest --- honesty; safe --- safety) 8) t变ce (important --- importance; silent --- silence) Group 1 得分: 1. ___________ say five minutes laughter is as good for you as fifteen minutes in the sports hall. (doctor) 2. Wang Ping tried his best and saved the ___________ life. (baby) 3. The proper time to rest should between 10 and 30 ___________. (minute) 4. Now more and more people in the cities keep ___________ as their friends. (pet) 5. Many young parents choose to buy some books as presents on ___________ Day. (children) 6. Parents sometimes have difficulty understanding the strange ___________ in their children’s mind.

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